It was just a Friday...sure it was Friday the 13, which this year meant an early payday because of the upcoming two-week break.  I had joked with teachers and staff that the kids were a little squirrely with the impending finals week.  Everything else seemed pretty normal.  The bell rang for the end of 4th hour and I walked from the Science wing on the west end of the building to the teachers lounge on the east end to get some ice for my water bottle.  My week had been stressful for personal reasons and I relished the thought of a quiet "off" hour, so I filled my bottle and headed back to the DHH (Deaf & Hard of Hearing) office.  There was a lot going on in the cafeteria, cleaning up after the lunches, folding up the tables and stacking the chairs, I even had to chuckle at one of the vice-principles who had stacked the chairs very high and then pushed them across the floor to get them out of the way.

When I got back to the office I bumped into our office-mate and a student who were headed to Starbucks for a treat, they invited me to join them but I declined.  Earlier in the week I had suffered a bout of the stomach flu so honestly the last thing I wanted was anything other than water in my tummy.  So off they went and I plopped down at the desk and pulled up the internet, probably checking email but honestly I don't remember.

I heard the gunshots, but I did not realize they were shots at first, I thought something in the cafeteria had toppled over, perhaps one of the stacks of chairs, but then I heard another shot when I ran into the hallway to see what was going on.  There were a few teachers in the hallway, looking around and thinking the same thing I was; that wasn't a sound that you would normally hear in a school.  Then someone yelled, "Lock it up!"  My blood did not turn "cold" and I did not hesitate, I did exactly as we have been instructed.  First securing the door then turning off the lights, then hiding under a desk.  I did grab my cell phone too.  Soon after that I heard the announcement that we were in full lock down.  At that point I texted my husband who happened to be subbing at a school north of Denver, I wanted him to hear it from me before the kids said something and as it turned out he got my text shortly before the students in his class found out.

So there I sat, alone in a dark office, I could hear yelling, I could hear people running, someone rattled the door to the office...who was trying to come in, the shooter or police checking to be sure the doors were locked?    The fire alarm went off and I wondered, "is this an 'all clear' or is this a ploy by the shooter to get us all in the hallways?"  We all have been trained since kindergarten to evacuate when we hear the fire alarm, and every fiber of my being told me to leave, but I waited and listened.  An announcement was made to stay put "we are still in lockdown." The fire alarm went on for what seemed like an eternity, kind of like having a migraine while someone is trying to pound a nail into your head. We were all fighting the instinct to exit the building yet everyone did as they were told and stayed. I cannot express just how hard that was to do.

My phone was going off continuously, mainly texts but there were phone calls too.  I texted my husband again, "shots fired" I texted my daughter in Oklahoma to "start praying."  More texts.."do you have Suzi-student?"..."Where is Suzi-student?" ...and the answers all the same "no"..."she is not with me..."  ..."Where is she...?" 

This can't be happening, I thought.  I prayed...

Finally the police began evacuating us. Had it been 20 minutes, an hour, or was it two hours? I had lost all track of time. I grabbed my cell phone and car keys, I had my school badge around my neck.  We were instructed to walk fast with our hands in the air as we exited the building...all the while SWAT had their guns trained on us. UNREAL!  I was going as fast as I could but students were running by me, almost tripping me or themselves.  Once we got in front of the Starbucks we were instructed to keep moving, back to the King Soopers parking lot then into the store itself.  But I was in full Navy-wife mode, all business because there was a task at hand....I had to find "Suzi-student".  I looked everyone in eye as I scanned the growing crowd.  I spoke with students and teachers asking if they had seen "Suzi"...no one had but everyone knew where my desperation was coming from.  You see "Suzi" is profoundly deaf and without an interpreter or someone that knew how to sign she would not know what was unfolding.  My deepest fear was that a police officer would shout instructions to her that she would ignore.  I had to find her... no time to cry, I would cry later.

Finally we ended up at Shepherd of the Hills Church, they filed us in and again I searched the room.  I had them make an announcement...no one had seen "Suzi".  I went to the head of the crisis management team and introduced myself as the interpreter and let him know we were missing a deaf student and that I had also told everyone else with a walkie-talkie to be on the lookout.  He then told me to stay with him by the front door.  I did.  I did not leave my post. A local reporter showed up with her camera going trying to get in the building, filming the parents who were waiting in the cold to find their children, I told her under no uncertain terms to "LEAVE!" She stated that she wanted to get the "real" story out to the public and once again I told her to "LEAVE." She did but not before filming more parents on her way out. 

Phone batteries were quickly running low, not good.  Students and parents began showing up in fits and starts.  I remained by the door...man I wish I would have grabbed my jacket, it is so cold!  I noticed kids with blankets and soon realized that King Soopers had been giving out brand new fleece blankets to the kids who were cold. Folks from King Soopers began showing up with bottled water and donuts (donuts??? I thought), but because I was standing by the door and had my Arapahoe High School name badge and security tags on people looked to me for guidance so I showed them into the kitchen.  More water...donuts...cookies...fresh fruit...kleenex...it just kept coming until I heard someone say the store was running out.  No sooner did I hear that then I saw people from Albertsons bringing over cart loads of the same type stuff...the manager looked at me as asked, "What else do you need?"  My reply, "Phone chargers!" She made an immediate call and told the person on the other end to "just take them off the racks and bring them over." 

Shortly before the chargers showed up and before my phone battery died I received a text stating, "Suzi is OK, with her mom." Whew! As it turned out a hearing boy who knew "Suzi" is deaf ran back into the school and grabbed her arm leading her out of harms way.  What a huge relief, now to let the crisis team know that she had been accounted for. Ok...now what...I remained on high alert but texted my husband to come get me.  I do not recall much about the ride home other than there were more emergency vehicles with lights flashing than I have ever seen before.  It was like being in an Arnold Schwartenegger movie; lights flashing but no sirens, it was oddly quiet. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion, people crying, some coming up to me and asking questions that I had no answers to, "when can we come get my son's backpack?" "When will we be able to pickup my daughters car?" "Tell me what happened." "Did anyone die?" A woman who was crying just came up to me and gave me a hug.

I have not fully processed all that happened and my guess is that will take a while.  There are far too many people who acted as heroes to mention. There was not one person who did not step up to the plate to be sure that every child was accounted for and safe. It was an extraordinary day with extraordinary people responding.

I have but two simple requests: There will be many more stories in the coming days so when you hear them please just listen and please lets heal... let's not turn this into a political pedestal. 

If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together, there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart, I'll always be with you.-Christopher Robin

In the words of the Arapahoe Nation, "Warriors Always Take Care of One Another."

Thank you,

Paula