Newtons 3rd Law of Inertia
Move on... Moving forward...
Progress... Take the next step... Initiate the next phase...
Keep pushing... Forge ahead...
pivot...Pivot...PIVOT...!
Oh, seriously I wish the world would just hush up. Please, for the love of euphemisms, aphorisms, and word play, just stop with well intentioned yet sometimes cliche sayings that are meant to encourage but can be really rather irritating and dare I say not necessarily always helpful. The collective "We" are trying, trust me we are. We wake up every morning and usually get out of bed, we may or may not eat breakfast or shower (if I don't my day just never gets the start I need it to, and my officemates are thankful that I do in fact shower daily), and go to whatever job provides the needed income. Who is the collective "We" you ask? There are those dealing with or recovering from various hardship, heartbreak, illness, death, rejection, disappointment, financial stress, family stress, work stress, or just general life stress.
In the past 7 months my step-dad died and I drove from my daughters house (in a different state) to my house to run laundry and repack and get at least one nights sleep in my own bed, then to my mom's house (in yet a 3rd state), to be with her and help her walk through those first few days and weeks alone and in shock. A few short weeks later I had to fly to Colorado to sue my ex-husband (nobody every really wins in that situation and it was one of the most unpleasant, non life threatening things I've willingly had to do). I have been diagnosed with a laundry list of auto-immune diseases. More recently I put almost $20K in repairs into my house. The front bumper of my car has hidden zip-ties holding it on because I chose to hit a wayward tire tread while traveling at about 65 mph on I-44 in OKC and also because my only other choices were to swerve and hit the car to my right or the concrete center barrier to my left. Alas, I chose to hit the tire tread. I've also seen and spent considerable time with my grand-toddlers on multiple occasions and that is always good for my attitude as well as my blood pressure.
Yeah, I know, life moves forward and so should I. I get that. I just need to get the momentum going...you know Newton's first Law of Motion (Law of Inertia), " An object at rest stays at rest, and an object in motion stays in motion at a constant velocity, unless acted upon by an unbalanced external force." Newtons second law of Motion has to do with acceleration. Ha! I'm not there yet. BUT his third law, the Law of Action and Reaction, states "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction."
Equal and Opposite Reaction. Yeah, that's me right now. An Equal AND Opposite reaction...like taking a step back.
Stepping back to the basic simple ways I learned how to do things.
Cook: rather than cook from instinct or memory I have pulled out actual cookbooks (at last count I had upwards of 250-no joke) or recipe cards from my overfull Longaberger recipe box. I re-read the recipes, made actual lists of what I needed after taking stock of what I already had in my pantry. Yeah, like I did in the late 80's as a newlywed on the island of Guam. Back then, despite living on base in government housing and my (now ex) husband on a 3 or 4 day duty rotation thus eating on the ship on his duty days, I was very frugal and wasted nothing!
True story- one night I decided to make a pot roast for dinner, although it wasn't an expensive piece of meat, it was to us. I seasoned the meat then put it in a screaming hot pan to sear it prior to putting it in the oven. At one point I grabbed either the salt or pepper grinder to add a bit more seasoning and when I started to twist my hand something felt weird. When I finished I moved my hand from the side of the grinder to the top in order to place it back on the back of the stove...and that's when I saw it. A baby gecko. Apparently I had squished it and when I moved my hand the poor little guy had fallen into the pan. I had killed then cooked a baby gecko! I think I let out a little scream and then maybe a laugh but I was so upset because I was going to have to waste a perfectly good piece of beef! At the time my husband was the FSO (Food Service Officer) for the ship and he promptly took over the situation...he removed the poor gecko from the pan, took the thermometer and checked the temp of the oil and of the meat and determined that any germs and/or bacteria would have been killed by the temperature but just in case I took the roast and placed it in a new pan, stuck it in the hot oven and finished cooking it. Yes, we ate the roast and no, we did not get sick. But you can bet that to this day I never pick up a salt or pepper grinder without checking for wayward geckos.
These are most but not all of my cookbooks.
SEW: Just me, my machine, sometimes my cat, and music in the background. The purr of my machine, the feel of the warp and weft of the fabric as it rhythmically glides under my fingertips. The slight sound of a rattling bobbin as it nears the end of it's thread, hoping that the seam and the the bobbin end simultaneously. Sewists and quilters refer to that as playing chicken. Washing, drying, and pressing (not ironing) the fabric. The slow steady process of opening a pattern, cutting out and pressing the pieces (my grandma taught me to press every pattern piece prior to laying it out and pinning to the fabric to ensure accurate cuts).
Photography: I look at everything as if I were looking through a camera lens, thinking of how wide I would shoot and how much I could crop. Seriously I do. Unfortunately the best of my cameras is in need of repair and it has me really bummed. Like my sewing machines, my cameras are just an extension of my hands, and when one isn't functioning properly I feel like I have a broken limb. I'll get it fixed...I will. And I will continue with my photography.
Dating: I am simply unwilling to hurt someone else or be hurt due to any unhealed parts of me. Full Stop.
Step back. Notice the really little things. Look at life like my grand-toddlers do...with wonder and magic and complete abandon. To see the good, the funny, and the miraculous. To find inspiration again.
So yes, I am intentionally moving in the opposite direction in order to rest my mind, my heart, and my attitude. Yet, I know that I will, someday, be able to move forward with strength, ease, and grace.