I feel the healing... just a little everyday.  Some days there is nothing and I worry that I will be forever stuck in a place of brokenness.

Then there are days that I feel as if each tiny crack in my soul is beginning to mend, as if with each step I am indeed closer to being the newer, better, healed version of myself.  

The version of myself that my 16-year-old self would never have dreamed of.

 The version of myself that, on my wedding day, I would have never thought could be possible.

The days that feel as if every negative word spoken around me is meant for me are now much fewer and much farther between.  

The painful shattered cracks in my soul that felt more like broken bones or bits of glass between my toes now feel more like warm sand running through my fingers.

We all have tough experiences in our lives, but sometimes there will be ONE that causes all of the others to resurface.  

When past pain comes rushing back and the hurt, anger, confusion, and disbelief resurface like a beach ball held under water for too long then suddenly let go.

The beach ball shoots up with great speed but does not come down to rest on the surface, no it shoots towards the sky before plummeting back down and hitting the water once again with a THWACK!

Just as the waves and ripples on the water calm so will the little cracks of brokenness.  It just takes time.

When brokenness heals what takes its place is peace and strength, wisdom and knowledge, hope and understanding.

At least for me.