You may be wondering why this series of blogs is entitled "Vagal Schwannoma 2.5"...well because this is my second go-round with this rare and elusive little bugger and because this one currently measures approximately 2.5 cm.  In the last week I have actually been able to schedule an appointment with the 'very special specialist' and then pushed and pushed to get the required MRI scheduled...this alone was a frustrating task because radiology flat out refused to schedule one due to the titanium aneurysm clips I have in my neck left over from the last time my little 'shwammy' friend made my neck his home.  Helllooo...they are TITANIUM and oh-by-the-way I  have had close to 10 MRI's  (yes that is correct-and truth be told probably as many CT's) of my head and neck since the last tumor with no problems stemming from those life saving little clips.  

So once the appointment with Dr Special McSpecialist was confirmed my  phone seemed some days to ring nonstop like an old time telephone with no answering machine...and because, thank goodness, there is now such a thing as voice mail they did indeed leave messages and I was able to return the calls.  There is also a nifty thing called e-mail and I used this feature in my health insurance website to contact Dr Special McSpecialist to let him know about the issues with radiology and viola! Problem solved... he used that same little feature as well as that handy thing call a cell phone to pull some well placed strings and yes you guessed it, my MRI is Monday after I get off work (it really doesn't get any better than that when dealing with insurance).

Movin' on...now to get my health records sent from South Carolina to Colorado.  Let's just say that despite doing everything according to procedure a certain hospital not only refused to send the records but someone actually hung up on Dr Special McSpecialist's nurse when she called a second time. When she called me to tell me that I started thinking...which isn't always a good thing but in this case it was pure genius.  Let me back up a wee little bit to  last summer:

My husband had received, of all things, a Facebook message from a friend of ours from South Carolina, his eldest son and our son were good friends while we lived there and as a result we all became friends.  In the message he said that his son was driving to Sitka, Alaska to his first job since graduating from college and as it so happened he was stranded in Denver with car problems.  Well Mark and I just looked at each other and said 'let's go' and off we went to go meet him at the car repair shop, we picked him up  and showed him around while waiting for a diagnosis, which as it turned out would not be  until the following morning.  So doing what we do, we brought him home to our little condo, fed him dinner, and gave him our office complete with a nice cozy air mattress to sleep on.  The following day when he was informed that they would need to work on his pickup for a few days we, without hesitation, handed him the keys to our Tundra so he could go do whatever he wanted to do.  On his last day with us he and our son got together and spent the day gallivanting in our sons Jeep and we all met later for dinner.  Our friends in South Carolina were beside themselves with worry about their son being so far from home and at the same time so grateful for our help, in our eyes that's just what friends do and we were glad to be in a position to have him with us and help him however we could. Many times they said how indebted they were to us but we did not feel that they owed us a thing....it's what friends do, at least in our book.

So back to the medical records thing... when I found out that the nurse "Lily" (not her real name) had been hung up on and treated so badly while trying to get my records I was more than a little mad and took a long-shot of a chance and texted my friend in SC because she had worked as an advance practice nurse at that same hospital for many years and asked her if by chance she might know anyone in the medical records department. And ya know what happened...? God winked!  Not only did she know 'someone' in medical records she actually was friends with the supervisor and they had gone to church together for years.  She put us in touch with each other, now I have no idea what happened on that end as far as the supervisor and the person who hung up on 'Lily' but I do know that the very next day my files had been sent and confirmed received!   I thanked my friend profusely and she said that was the least she could do for all that we did for her son.  Again...that is what friends do; we were in a position to help her son and did, and she was in a position to help me and she did.  I am not keeping score...just grateful for friendships!

This coming week, with the MRI and the appointment with Dr Special McSpecialist , has me already on edge.  Oh how I wish I could be like those people you see on TV that when faced with a dire diagnosis or situation just smile and say that they are happy to be alive, after all why worry.  Yeppers...I AM happy to be alive and have not wasted a single minute of the last 16 years since the first tumor, but I would be lying if I said that I haven't cried.  In actuality I have cried.. a lot!  I have been angry too.  I mean really... since February 2000 I have stared down a rare tumor that took a major and a few 'minor' cranial nerves, survived surgeries that I was told that I would not; lost and regained my voice 3 times over two years then finally success!  That final vocal surgery was supposed to last about 6 years and it has now been 14 years! I took all that bad stuff and turned into something good and productive by becoming an interpreter, but then there was that horrible day of the school shooting, and now that I read some of the reports and depositions I feel angry and betrayed by the very school district I worked for.  

Yep...I am a strong broad to be sure...but that doesn't mean that I am made of steel and stone with ice as a mortar.  I am but a human and strength comes in many shapes and forms. I have persevered to be sure that the appropriate appointments were scheduled and that my current doctor has all of my records so that he can see the whole picture in order to make the best game plan possible.  Strength does not mean that you are  unfeeling...it means that you remain undeterred despite wanting to crawl under a quilt and cry.