You may or may not have noticed that I have not posted a blog in a few years; sure I have had many ideas running through my head but just never put them down on "paper."  There are many reasons for the proverbial silence including the negative feedback I have received about being so honest about so many things, I realized how people don't necessarily want to be educated about things they know nothing about, they want to rely on what they think they know and fail to see other points of view.

One topic I have been been quite vocal about is school shootings, especially here in Colorado where we have had more than a few, not to mention the Aurora Theater shooting.  The reaction of many has been to ban guns because after all you can't have a shooting without a gun, right?  Another more recent reaction has been for Colorado to pass the "Red Flag" law which "... allows a family member or law enforcement to petition a court to temporarily remove someone’s guns for up to a year."  Hmm... ok.  There is some controversy over that but I will not take that rabbit trail.

Another more popular thought floating around is the hiring of Combat Veteran's to police schools.  Yes, I like the idea. To an extent.  My (now ex) husband is combat vet but he would most certainly rather be teaching in those schools or being an administrator.  That's not my point though, sure I would love to see out of work veterans working, and just think of the kind of role model they could be for those kids?  But what about all those random noises in schools combined with a vet who may also have PTSD?  I know all to well about those noises because I work in a school... and I have PTSD from a school shooting.  There are days that I must exercise a HUGE amount of self control to not run in to the hallway and yell at a kid that is kicking a locker.  Just a few days ago during a passing period a very tall 8th grader started pounding on the glass case that held the fire extinguisher... well you guessed it I unleashed my quiet voice and yelled so loudly that not only did he stop and look at me but so did everyone else. I think that I actually scared him!

All of the above are reactions to what has been happening in our communities but what about being proactive for a change! How about we start with our homes; locking up guns (if you have them )  and locking up the ammo in a separate place is a good start.  But let's back up a little.

BEING PROACTIVE

Imagine a home where parent's and children have meals together, at the table, or kitchen island, or kitchen bar.  Imagine that family actually preparing that meal together with no distractions from the TV, or computer, or *gasp* cellphones! Imagine families that went back to having game nights, or movie nights complete with pizza, popcorn and root beer floats. Or how about off the grid camp-outs with fishing, campfires, s'mores, and sleeping bags.

Now let us think about families where parents are not some sort of machine analogy cliche like a helicopter picking their children up and out of trouble, or a snow plow clearing all the frozen obstacles from the path the parents want the kids to take; where the proverbial road less traveled isn't even a choice but the road to Harvard is completely free from potholes and roadkill.  Think about families that teach their children respect, responsibility, accountability, civility and manners, consequences, and a solid work ethic. A place where you must contribute to the household duties not because you get paid but because you are part of the family, and when you do get paid for chores you are actually taught how to budget that money.  

CULTURE

Several years ago I was asked what my culture was... I had no response.  My mind told me, "American" but then I thought that there isn't an American Culture.  I was wrong, there is an American Culture and some of it isn't very pretty.

We are taught to ignore and even hate people who don't look like us. Recently I saw an ad for Cadillac which features a successful woman of color at the wheel of brand new Cadillac and as she's driving through a neighborhood (presumably hers) she looks at and even points to and nods at the children playing. She SEE'S them and acknowledges them as valuable members of the human race. I love that ad! I wish more people would actually look at and see people as valuable.

We are also taught to devalue age above about 40, grey hair, wrinkles, anything that isn't perky anymore.  I have good genes in respect to my hair and skin meaning that I still have my natural hair color and, thanks to copious amounts of sunblock over the years, very few wrinkles. But that doesn't mean that I am valued for my age. In a female dominated profession (sign language interpreting) I am viewed as being old and outdated; frankly that is not true, I came to this profession in my 40's and have always kept up with the changes in the profession.

Another thing our society and culture teaches us is to lie.  Now let that sink in for just a second or two... think about how many times as a young child you are told to be nice to the creepy store clerk (or whoever), to be sweet even when someone has wronged you in some way.  Oh, I am not talking about manners here, I am talking about having to stuff your feelings down so deep as to not upset someone else. Please understand the context of this next story: Los Angeles suburbs 1970's and desegregation or "bussing" was in full effect , my parents had placed my sister and I in a private school to avoid bussing in all forms. Unless it was raining we would ride our bikes the 2 miles to school.  I am still burdened by an event that happened when I was still in elementary school; I was riding my sisters bike and was hit by a car on my way to that school and as it turned out the man that hit me was a Sunday School bus driver for the church the school was attached to.  As soon as that little nugget of truth was made known I was told to not tell anyone so as to not ruin his reputation (or have his bus driver's license revoked).  My guess is that my father was probably angry enough to want to track this man down and settle things himself, and I am quite sure that the fact that the man was probably never issued any type of a ticket or reprimand really scorched my dad's collar.  Yet, we were all told to lie.  When I was at school I was told to lie about what happened and then the whole thing was treated as if it had never happened. It was layers of lies by people I trusted. That was a huge crack in the delicate shell of my soul and to this day, despite my love of classic cars, I cannot look at a '57 Chevy without thinking of the day in October 1976.

The flip side of what our society doesn't value is what it does value.  If someone handed you a piece of lined paper right now how much of it could you fill with what American society in general values?  Go to a mall and sit in the food court and really watch the people there and write down what you see.  Go to a grocery store and take note of how many moms with young children in the cart are on their cell phone and not talking to those children.  A mall and a grocery store are truly language rich environments,  a plethora of opportunities to teach your children language and values.  Sadly what I see is that our society values youth, beauty, money, status.  I see children being ignored by their parents and then act out at school, but the teachers are powerless to do anything because the district is afraid of being sued by those same parents.  I see adults who bully adults and then their children go to school and repeat that behavior, and then parents who wonder where that behavior came from.  I see children drop and break a cell phone costing $1,000 and then laugh it off because there mom or dad will buy them a new one. I see students of all ages throw temper tantrums as well as desks and chairs when they don't get their way, or when they don't get an A on a test they failed.

If everyone gets a trophy what does the winner get?  If everyone gets a trophy then who truly wins? 

Ok...not sure where I was going with this blog.  Something about being Proactive vs Reactive I think. Well, I guess this one could be filed under "Thoughts to Ponder" because if I were younger I would remember the reason for this post and I would be able to put a nice bow on it.

GullsHow about a photo of some Oregon seagulls to make you smile.