Vagal Schwanomma 2.5In the year 2000, I was 34 years old, and I was encouraged to journal about what was going on and a rare diagnosis of having a Vagal Schwannoma on my left vagus nerve (blocked 50% of my left Carotid artery and causing an aneurysm) but I just didn't have the words for it and at the time I wanted no pictures taken whatsoever. But this time is different, much different. I survived the schwanomma, and my way of saying F-you to the fact that I had lost my voice and needed a prosthesis to aid in speaking was to learn sign language and later to become a sign language interpreter. It was that job, as an educational sign language interpreter that led me to work in a particular high school that as it turns out, experienced a school shooting. No kidding, I couldn't make this stuff up. Last week a series of reports came out about the shooting, complete with depositions and I chose to start reading the depositions, but then the nightmares started and my blood pressure rose to dangerously high levels, so I decided to stop reading them. A co-worker thought it would be a good idea to tell me that there was something in a local newspaper, a political cartoon as it turned out, that she thought I might like to see. It was mean and distasteful to look at as well as for her to even think that I might like to see a cartoon poking fun at how the school district had failed the student as well as the rest of us who worked in that school. Well upon looking at it my stress and blood pressure continued to rise to dangerous levels, so I took the next day off of work with the intention of checking in with my doctor. Well that is when things got very interesting very quickly because my physician would not see me instead she told me to go straight to the ER and if there was no one to drive me they would call an ambulance. I called my husband who came straight home and drove me to the ER. Due to my medical history they had me in CT in short order and not long after I heard the them say, "We found something" and "paraganglioma" had they not already pumped me full of meds to reduce my blood pressure I would have sat up and yelled 'bull...' because I know from experience that is code for "there is a tumor-like growth in your head and we just don't know what kind it is yet." Upon looking at my medical record they sent the scan digitally over to another hospital to have Neuro-radiologist take a look at it and almost immediately they actually said the words "schwanomma." I thought, "I am screwed" those things are rare to begin with and to have a recurrence after 16 years seems even more rare. Now what? Well, this time I am going to blog about it. If they come back and say "oops we were wrong it's nothing" well then woohoo, you will hear about it on the blog. If they come back and say yes it is back and it is a regrowth of the original or that it is a totally separate tumor, you will hear about it on this page. I will pull no punches only the truth, good bad or indifferent. I may post pictures of my scans, surgery (if any) scars, whatever. If I have to go through this a second time then I want it to be an education for everyone else.
If you look closely at this image of my scan, you will see what looks like a starburst or reflection. That is from the titanium aneurysm coils that were placed in the first surgery prior to removing the first tumor. Ya gotta admit it...pretty cool huh?
Stand by and buckle up... this could be an interesting ride! Better Than BetterIs it possible to be better than better? Yes, at least I think so. To me better than better means a person not only has healed to the best extent possible from whatever hinders them, but they have done something positive with that experience. It is not as simple as to 'move on' or to 'get over it' but to use life's challenges to improve oneself. Since 2000 I have dealt with and overcome a one in a million tumor as well as a school shooting; I have also been onstage with Grammy award winning performers and in front of crowds upwards of 30,000 people as a result of my choices after the tumor, and I can say it wasn't all easy but it is all good! Sure, there are things that still will catch me off guard, mainly sounds: car backfires, fire alarms, fireworks, and of course gunshots. The other day while having lunch with some old friends I heard a song that brought me back to a moment during the memorial service for the student killed in the shooting. Folks that were not there that day or did not watch the service on any of the Denver channels would have no clue as to why it struck me the way that it did. It was a tough moment in which a not so old wound was temporarily ripped open, thankfully I was surrounded by a few people who acted with grace and allowed me, without question or judgment, to shed a few tears. I have discovered that in addition to professional support to work my way through the trauma there is a way to deal with those people and situations that seem impossible hurdles to lifetime success. You see I am not one to make New Years resolutions, instead I chose a word to guide my thoughts and actions; in recent years those words included, integrity and grace. Those two little words have helped me to think through situations and to remind myself to act with grace and integrity even when I really want to act otherwise. This year I was not sure what word to chose until I read a blog post on Street Leverage and knew almost immediately that my word this year would be 'civility.' Now don't get me wrong....I am not choosing a word that represents a quality I necessarily possess, in fact I chose words that represent qualities I would like to develop which means I am choosing to challenge myself to be better than better. So in order for me to be better than better I not only challenge myself to develop qualities within myself , I also work on doing more or different things...things that are outside of my comfort zone. Better than better surely does not mean that I am the same as 'before' because there are scars and grey hairs that are in place of the old me; better than better does not mean new and improved either...well improved perhaps but not new because after all we are all getting older and not younger! So as we jump into 2016 I will continue to exercise grace to those that have laughed behind my back or gossiped (or accused me of gossiping) because I have integrity. I will work on exercising civility because I have already been practicing integrity and grace. I will continue to work on becoming better than better by working on professional development (interpreting), improving and stretching myself as a photographer, and put the finishing touches on my first book AND actually submit it to publishers. My challenge to you, is not necessarily to choose the words I have chosen (although you certainly can) but to find a word or two that speaks to your heart and will help you to become better than better!
This is not a photo of me, it is a photo I recent took of someone else, but it represents what it takes to be better than better!
Chardonnay Mac & Cheese and Why You Should Know How to Boil WaterVery early in my marriage my husband and I lived in the Washington DC area (inside the Beltway to be a little more precise) compliments of the US Navy, and the wife of a friend of his was what I truly thought an anomaly among women-she could not cook or operate a washing machine when she wed. When she first told me this I thought she was kidding, but her husband verified the fact that once they were back from the honeymoon he actually had to teach her how to boil water and scramble an egg. She freely admitted to me that since she was going to college she knew that she would marry a "college man" and therefore would be able to afford to have a maid...so she never bothered to learn any homemaking skills whatsoever. Many years later I met a young woman, probably in her early twenties, who honest to goodness did not know how to boil water. Yes it is true and I kid you not...she did not know how to follow the directions on a box, measure the water, how to turn on the stove, how long to wait for the water to boil, or even what a rolling boil looked like. My shock had little to do with her inability to actually boil water but all to do with how the women in her life had failed her by not teaching her something as basic as that. Be reassured that I did indeed take her step by step through the process and she did successfully not only boil water but made enough instant mashed potatoes to serve a large crowd. Soon after a good friend of mine and I decided to start writing a book about the importance of basic kitchen skills, but since life has a way of happening we just never got around to writing it. Anyway...back to boiling water; truly there are so many edible yummies one can make once the skill of boiling water has been mastered, I mean think about it: eggs-hard boiled, soft-boiled, poached; gelatin, all things pasta, soups, steamed veggies, the list goes on and on. Then boiling water leads to boiling other things....like sauces...oh my. I digress.. lets get back to boiling water and...oh yeah, pasta...... Apparently I have been on a blogging theme of comfort food, and perhaps that has to do with the changing of the leaves and the cooler fall weather. Today I have been craving pasta and cheese which this evening means mac & cheese but not just ANY mac & cheese, no that would be way too easy. Tonight it's Chardonnay Mac & Cheese! Pasta 2-3 Cups water to BOIL the macaroni noodles. But wait...there's more! Anyone can boil the macaroni in water, why not shake it up a bit by substituting chicken or vegetable stock for plain water? But if you do use plain water be sure to heavily salt that water, trust me you need it for flavor. I Once heard a professional chef state that pasta water should be salty salt water, like the ocean. Boil until al dente (or cooked but still slightly firm, not mushy)
Cheese Sauce 1/3 cup white onion finely chopped (I only had a red onion today so that is what I used) 8 oz each sharp white cheddar and swiss cheese-shredded 4 tbs butter 2-3 tbs flour-mix with salt and pepper and a pinch of nutmeg (amount depends on your preferences) 1/2 cup milk (approximately) Add onions to melted butter and saute until onions are soft (if you like you can add diced garlic too) De-glaze pan with about 1/4-1/2 cup Chardonnay or other dry white wine then add flour a little at a time to create a paste then slowly add milk to create a thick liquid. Slowly add 2/3 of the cheese and stir until cheese is melted and smooth. Add macaroni and stir. Serve immediately and sprinkle with remaining cheese. Optional toppings: shredded chicken, chopped cooked bacon, chopped green onions, tomatillo salsa.
That my friends, is why one should know how to boil water! Italian Saucy MeatballsAlong with photography and quilting I also enjoy cooking and on December 28, 2012 I shared My New Favorite Chili recipe. Unlike the woman in the aforementioned blog, I actually don't mind sharing my recipes, in fact after I finish writing my current book I may actually start the cookbook I have been wanting to write for many years. Since that has not been high on my to-do list lately I have not given it much thought, until this past week. As it turned out last week I planned on making a large batch of meatballs to store in the freezer for future use, but then the ladies in the office planned a pot luck so I decided to bring the meatballs and sauce as my part of the pot luck. The long and the short of it is that, much to the dismay of my husband, my wonderful coworkers decimated an entire batch of Italian meatballs and sauce! One of my fellow interpreters asked me for the recipe and I promised her that I would indeed provide it and in order to keep the peace at home I told my husband that I would make another batch; since the school district I work for is on fall break this week that is exactly what I did today. Please feel free to like and share this post Meatballs 2/3 cup dried Italian herb breadcrumbs 1 tsp each salt & pepper 2 eggs 1/2 cup milk Mix the above ingredients
1/2 red onion & 1/2 yellow (sweet) onion- finely diced 1/4 cup finely chopped fresh parsley and 1/4 cup finely chopped fresh oregano (or 2 TBS each dried parsley & dried oregano) 2-3 cloves fresh garlic-finely chopped Saute in a hot pan with 2-3 tbs olive oil
Let cool completely then mix into the bread crumb mixture. Add to that: 2-3 TBS parmesan cheese
1lb ground beef and 1lb sausage and mix until all ingredients are blended. Refrigerate 1-2 hours until cold all the way through, then make into 2 inch balls. *I have also made these with other combinations of meet added such as turkey, bison, and finely diced uncooked bacon Place balls on a pan that is well oiled or covered in foil and lightly oiled. Bake in a pre-heated 425 degree oven for 15-20 minutes.
Sauce Two 12-16 ounce jars of pasta sauce-I prefer one to be a spicy marinara and the other a vodka sauce 1 can plain tomato sauce 1/3 cup finely chopped fresh parsley or 2-3 TBS dried parsley 1/2 red onion & 1/2 yellow (sweet) onion finely chopped 2-3 cloves garlic finely chopped
Mix and heat in in a slow cooker set on low while meat mixture is chilling and while meatballs are baking-this ensures the sauce is hot. Add meatballs to sauce after cooking in the oven and continue to cook on low heat for 2+ hours. Serve as desired (over pasta or as an entree with a side of garlic bread).
GigglewoodLoosely defined "gigglewood" refers to tree limbs that have been damaged by weather, they are twisted and curved and actually quite beautiful. Many of us probably see them as we drive by forests or marshes, that is if we are lucky enough to live near a forest or marsh. To the untrained eye these branches may appear to be deformed or damaged, but look closer at how wind, and snow, and ice have transformed them into unique pieces of natural art.
This past week my husband and I had the opportunity to spend a week in Alaska, actually he spent almost a full month there climbing Denali and then a week with me when I flew up there to meet him.
I landed during the summer solstice and Anchorage was abuzz with fair goers and others who were enjoying the near 22 hours of sunlight, we spent a few days in Anchorage and then Seward, then we headed north toward Denali but stayed at a place named Gigglewood. Owned and operated by Larry and Linda, a high school friend of my father in-laws and his wife, Gigglewood is a small lakeside inn technically in Willow, AK but if you ask the locals they are located in Caswell Lakes. Gigglewood is within easy reach of Anchorage as well as Denali National Park and just a short drive to Talkeetna.
Our stay was restful as well as fun...evenings we would grill in the common area and were joined by Linda & Larry, both of whom had many stories to tell (some of my father in-law and some tales of life in Alaska). Sure there were plenty of bugs, it was June after all, but Larry & Linda have an array of candles to try to dissuade the little biters and for those that insist on attacking, well there were gizzmos that resembled small tennis rackets but were slightly electrified. Since I am the family no pest strip, the no-see-ums and mosquitoes seemed to only be attracted to me, therefore sparing the rest of the group. While in Anchorage we took an overnight trip to Seward which included an 8.5 hour glacier and wildlife cruise. The glaciers were, well ...they were huge and cold (and quite beautiful). While standing on the deck of our boat (with the rest of the wildlife paparazzi) we were treated to a fin slapping show by none other than a Fin whale. Just as the captain of the boat was finished telling us how that would be the most we would be able to see of that particular whale because they "almost never" breech, and as most of the paparazzi put down their cameras the "almost never" became a "WOW!" when that Fin whale did in fact breech. So while others were swearing under their breath and trying to get their cameras up, I was able to capture this image:
This trip was 40 years in the making, and was a 50th birthday gift from family members who contributed. A once in a lifetime trip? Maybe, but I hope to go back again...to see the northern lights!
Oh...I will have a full compliment of photos for sale in a week or two, so check back often!
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